Emotional Mediocre.

Some people suffer from emotional repression
According to Freud we hide intense / hurtful memories by repressing them
Stuff happens to you and you get emotional diarrhoea
I think any form of physical contact with people is weird
Don't get me wrong im a hugger
I like hugging my nephew , my grandma , grand pa
But other people its like ... what the hell
Humping with your clothes on
Or holding hands .... whats that about?
Some things are awkward ... but ill hold hands with my nephew
Boys don't get that you can live with/ without them
Seriously???
And its not about independence or proving sth
Its about boys being crap
So we can live without crap
Me? I have a chronic fear of relationships and a deep hatred for men
Its not a joke i thought it was but i cant
On the other hand i go after men who are unavailable
There has to be a chance its not gonna work
Or i like guys who dont like me back
Im a masochist and it isnt healthy .
The guys who like me ... i run away
Literally and metaphorically
I need help cos sometimes the loneliness gets too loud
I dont know how im going to be able to feel
anything.

Your a Wet -Dream away from the real thing

Wouldn't be caught dead here ,
Isn't there where you want her ,
paying in naivety
Is everything going according to plan
Not wanting this evening banquet to end
Every one looks , well .. it's a party
She goes to the ladies room , to talk to the mirror to
To tell herself, 'I'm a Diva!!!'
And they mutter when did she get so confident..
She never looked more innocent..
But were all of consenting age
Oh , what a shame

All the boys they say under their breaths,
Sizing up the girls ,
I bet to them her name is cheap ,i bet she kinda looks like sh*t , she looks easy
Losers.
It just wouldn't be a party they haven't been sized up,
would it now?
It just doesn't seem like a night out if she's not distracted
Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off,
Loving every minute of the promise of the mild disaster of the evening


Next ,begin a whispering campaign
Lips not only mumble they kiss like fountains
Giggle with the fashionistas , ignore him
You cant stand it ,
Lock eyes with the devil in me , im bad for you
Ive never been more auspicious
Ill be distracted if you spike the punch

Where is it that we last left off-
No?! Should i close the door?
My lips just happen to be laced with nitro - glycerin
And i will poison you . . .
Is everything going according to plan
I didn't get this dressed up for the tables , honey

Don't get selfish , i may like it but i enjoy it
Unfinished infatuation is like a fever
A fever you cant sweat out
Isn't this where you like me ,
paying in naivety
and paying for love is where i like me.
And if i know what you know and i know that
ive never been so distracted.

Me and you make my least favourite oxymoron

Man-at-Charms I call you
With your moderate wit and moderate looks
Your love 'harambee love'
So generous you give to all us ladies and lass' and broads alike
The center of attention.
You are broad and act many roles:
The friend , the lover , the kind stranger
So many faces
You cant be trusted
Mr. Nice/ Bad guy.
But you are very very bad, aren't you?

Dead-inside I call myself
With my easy demeanor and complicated sadness
I was dared to love
I was foolish on many degrees
First : I listened to my peers.
Second: I fraternized with the enemy.
Third:I was foolish.

All in all the man-at -charms and the tortured artist become my least favorite oxymoron.

Goodbye to first loves and past hurts

You left Father ,
Uncool.
And you geek next door,
Stole my heart.
Uncoolest.
Whether or not i will always love you
Is a statement deeply irrelevant
Kindly do not attempt to cloud the issue with facts
One fact , and one fact alone is crystal clear
You both suck
Goodbye for shame it could not be so-
For i cannot hate you lest i tried
I could fail miserably at the task
I am not equipped with the hypocrisy of pie crust promises
But you are not pardoned , your indifference a powerful tool
A love one sided
I bid ye goodbye
Tis true you can love again